Archive for October, 2010

Paul the Octopus is dead!

October 27th, 2010

What sad news! Paul the Octopus is dead! Goran and I were so upset we went straight to our favourite restaurant in Barcelona with our girlfriends and four other friends and ordered “pulpo con patatas” in his memory. We sit down, and one of our friends tells us he was driving round the Barcelona ring road the other day when he sees this three-legged chicken closing up on him in his wing mirror! So he accelerates to try and get away, but the chicken keeps up with him, and eventually signals with his wing and overtakes him. “I wonder what that was all about”, he says, and decides to try and follow. The chicken leads him off the motorway and a merry dance along some country roads before turning in to a farm and disappearing. More »

Okay the Nou (Camp), Jimmy!

October 13th, 2010

What a time Goran and I had in Scotland! We have made lots of new friends, and out team has come away with another win! If it wasn’t for the weather and a night in the local jail it would have been perfect! Not that it was easy getting away though, as our girlfriends Nokya Blokov and Ima Bitvilius didn’t want us to go. We don’t trust you after what you got up to in South Africa, they say, and in the end Nokya (who works in the prison services in Barcelona) only agrees if we they can fit us with tags which she has smuggled out of the prison. We will be tracking where you go with our GPS system they say, so make sure you stay out of trouble. Really! It doesn’t surprise me though, Nokya is a bit like that – I call her “La Perpetua”, after “cadena perpetua” (life sentence), and she can be frightening at times. More »

Off to see Spain play Lithuania in Salamanca (eventually)

October 9th, 2010

Spain will play Lithuania in Vicente Del Bosque’s place of origin, say the sports papers. Where’s that?, says Goran? Easy, I say, Del Bosque was manufactured in the workshops in the bowels of the Santiago Bernabeu stadium, where he played and managed all his life before taking over from Don Luis, and has the Real Madrid trademark stamped on his bottom underneath his whiter than white underpants. It must be in Madrid. So off we trot, but when we get to the Bernabeu it is deserted, only a couple of sad-looking substitutes in training who haven’t been called up for their countries. Where’s the match? we ask, and they tell us Salamanca! It seems Don Vicente is a real person, with a mother and father and all that, and was not made out of old bits of Juanito and Gento and the rest! Who would have known? More »

Being World Champions is not easy.

October 8th, 2010

Hello everyone, we’re back on the international scene again, and how hard it is to be World Champions! I am not sure what a tether is, but our players are right at the end of it, and that is not good news (Goran has just told me that he was on a tether once when he was sold in to a slave market in Mozambique, but that must be another kind of tether, surely)! Anyway, Xavi’s tendons are stretched to the point of breaking, and the nice Mr. Del Bosque has decided he won’t have to play against Lithuania and Scotland in these European qualifiers. OK, but Cesc Fábregas is already out who would usually be his replacement, and this weekend we also lost Fernando Torres, Jesús Navas, Javi Martínez and Pedro, which was very careless of us! Surely somebody knows where they are? And now we are told that maybe Xabi Alonso won’t be available for the game against Lithuania in Salamanca tonight as he has anginas in his chest! Not being a doctor I thought that anginas were little eels, and I thought maybe he had eaten something funny, but now I am informed it is a pain in the chest like a mild heart-attack! What stress our boys are under!