Will Mourinho win an Oscar this year?

What a game in the Nou Camp! It was like watching gladiators in the old Roman empire, with José Mourinho playing the part of Russell Crone! Mourinho has never been popular there since the days he was Sir Bobby Robson’s assistant – they said he was Robson’s translator and even worse things – and he already upset the crowd when he came here with Chelsea and beat Barcelona. So when he asked the hated Figo to sit on the trainers bench it was already a declaration of war!

The first fight scene was when another old Blaugrana Motta was sent off – no Oscar though for Busquets for his awful acting – and Mourinho was ticketed off by the referee for saying something in Guardiola’s ear. And so it went on after that, a battle between two giant managers of football. But the Gods of War have been against Barcelona from the start on this one, sending out volcanic ash so they had to travel to the first game by road, blinding the two referees at key moments etc., and Inter came out on top.

Only then came the finale – Mou ran on to the pitch like he had scored the winning goal, Valdés grabbed him by the neck in a fit of anger, Eto’o joined in the fun with his celebrations against the team who dumped him, and as the Inter players were celebrating, someone turned on the sprinkler system and drowned the lot of them! Personally I preferred Russell Crone’s version, but if Mourinho doesn’t get an Oscar, he will certainly get the job at Real Madrid next season after what he did to the Culés! The queues are already forming at the box office!