How do we get tickets for the final?

How do you get a ticket for a World Cup final? The king of Spain has no problems, he just rings up Mr. Blatter and he gets a ring-side seat, but we don’t have Mr. Blatter’s mobile phone number. Goran tried taking all his clothes off outside of the Spanish team’s headquarters like that Paraguayan model Larissa Riquelme, but that just cost him a night in a Joberg cell and a restraining order not to go near the team anymore (he also got a couple of strange phone calls from South East Asian businessmen, but we won’t go in to that!).

Goran goes in to town to try his luck, and half an hour later he is back. Look, I got two tickets! I found a guy by the train station who was selling them, and only 500 Rand each! “Are you sure, Goran?” I ask. “Yes see for yourself, Soccer City, Holland against Spain! I look. The name Denmark and the date 14 June have been crossed out in red ink, and somebody has written “SPAYN” over the top, together with a note saying “jenyouwin tickets for the Wurld Cup final, oh yes!”. Ok, could be real we say without being really convinced, some of the organization has been pretty last minute and they didn’t know who would be in the final until a couple of days ago! We go to the ground to check but the man at the gate laughs and points us to a long queue outside the police station across the road.

Only two days to go, we must get to the match after all we’ve been through. Who would have tickets? How about Germans or Uruguayans, they are the two losing semi-finalists! So we start of with the German beer cellars, but the atmosphere is grim and nobody wants to talk to Spaniards, except to ask if we would like a plate of octopus and sauerkraut – funny how all the German bars are offering that right now, didn’t know they liked “pulpo” that much! So after a few “steins” it’s off to a South American steak bar, and we are in luck! There are a group of Uruguayans there who are getting ready to leave for Port Elizabeth, and they have tickets for the final which they are trying to sell! It costs us an arm and a leg (Goran’s, which was loose anyway after the incident in the lion park!), but got them. We will be there for the most important match in Spain’s history!