Shock-horror at the Nou Camp yesterday! Coming back from their Monday siesta, the club’s players and officials had the fright of their lives. The playing field, the stands, the roof, everything was coloured white! Everybody knows that that is the colour of the hated enemy Real Madrid, and a true “Culé” dislikes white so much that they refuse to wear it even in his underpants! What had happened? Had a crack team of Merengue Ultras sneaked in with buckets of paint while they were sleeping to sabotage the ground? In the end though it was all made clear – it had snowed in Barcelona for the first time in many years! Straight away club president Joan Laporta used his direct line to God to ask him to turn the heating up, and the next day it was gone!

Goran and I were talking about the crisis this week, and we decided that the bad weather in Spain right now is caused by all the clouds and cold feelings coming out of the heads of so many depressed peoples. So we thought we’d tell you the joke we promised to tell you a few weeks ago to cheer you up! It all happens in the future when the famous English football pairing of Hoddle and Waddle are even older than they are now. Hoddle has been given a knight-cap by King William the conker-player (Charles has been overpassed as he was too old when his mother finally passed the ball), and is now Sir Glen, and Waddle is his faithful butler. Read more »

So Sevilla’s Zokora got himself sent off at the weekend for swearing in English! Mr. Teixeira Vitienes’s match report (www.rfef.es – competiciones nacionales – actas) couldn’t be more clear The ex Spurs midfielder told his assistant linesman person to “f*ck your mother”! Funny expression that – maybe he said “you” instead of “your”, but we don’t think Sevilla will appeal that one. We can just imagine, “ your honour sir, our player didn’t say that the referee had a, how do you say, E-D-Pus complex, but that he screws around with young single mothers, so please cancel his red card forthwith, your honour, sir!”. Not much chance of a let-off there then!

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